CelynMatkin

Just eight days ‘till Christmas! Thank God winter break’s coming up soon. My parent’s could really use a break from work…

I’m still wishing hard to get an iPhone this Christmas, but at this point it seems unlikely. I’ve been wanting a phone for Christmas for three years; I have a feeling my dad wants to wait another.

In other news, I’m going to see the Wizard of Oz stage production today with some friends, our yearly Christmas tradition!

I’m not exactly sure why, but I’m really into the Christmas spirit this year…

—Celyn

I think I have a serious self-esteem issue, or an “overly-acute awareness” of what people think of me. And it’s pissing me off.

My mind tells me I cannot dress in my favourite clothes, I must dress in what is deemed safe, “peer accepted” clothing. I may not eat what I wish, as my friends inform me that foods I consider to be my favourites will get me “fat”. Without a doubt, I must follow their instructions and thoughts, right?

My mind tells me I have to do well in tests, or I will be letting down my teachers. I have to do whatever my classmates want me to, regardless of their past attitude towards me, or they will not like me anymore. Can’t have that, can I? I have to stay up until 11:45 to finish my friend’s essay for her, because she isn’t able to finish it and I would be disappointing her otherwise.

Truth is, I’m a Goddamn pushover and everyone knows I am.

I hate it.

I hate that little inkling of a voice in my head that tells me I’m being used. 

I’m all up for helping people out, but lately it’s been crossing the line.

I hardly get invited to anything. My group of friends has had three sleepovers so far this term, all of witch included everyone in my group. All but one. Can you guess who? It’s always…

“Sorry, my mum won’t let me invite anyone else, but you don’t care, do you?”

or “Well _______ would not be able to come if you came because we only booked one bowling lane”,

Even the famous, “Oh, no more room in my car” card came into play.

My response?

“Please, don’t worry about it, I understand”.

I don’t want to make them feel bad for not inviting me. How twisted it that statement?

I miss my old school. I want to be with my old friends again.

After re-reading this all-over-the-place rant again, I realize there are times I sound like a complete bitch. Well, you know what? This is the only way I can express myself without caring about what people think of me and what I do.

The only time I can bring myself to say what I really feel

Yours truly,

—Celyn

Dear Diary,

So I’ve decided I will no l longer spend an extra ten minutes writing this post by constantly looking words up in the thesaurus. So if the quality of my writing looks shot, that’s why.

I’ve found a new passion for Zelda games as of late. Unfortunately, I decided to get the cheaper DSi XL instead of the 3DS for my birthday… And I couldn’t resist the temptation of the bigger screen. So I guess I won’t be able to play Ocarina of Time  T^T. I don’t know why, I’ve just found a new love for Link <3

On a depressed note, school starts on Monday. Only six days left until I pull the trigger have to get up early to catch the bus. But I guess I’ll be writing more due to the oh-so-dramatic days of school life… Ever wish your classmates could just chill their hormones? That’s me.

Every.

Day.

Oh, and Harvest Moon: Tale of Two Towns is coming out September 20th, which is the only reason I am not dreading fall to come late. That, and Rune Factory: Tides of Destiny, which comes out September 27th. 

Unfortunately, I’m not sure how much spare time I’ll have to play these games until Christmas break. Right now my mind’s having a debate about buying the games with my own money on the day of the releases but possibly having little to no time to play them, or asking for them for Christmas from my parents and having the whole of Christmas break to play them, but not getting them early…

I don’t know, I’ll wait until I get a feel of the workload when the term starts. If it’s anything like last year, it was lovely to have known you.

Maybe I’ll get another post or two in before school starts. Unfortunately the procrastinator in me disagrees,

—Celyn